Let me begin by telling you that I am personally opposed to the word “stupid.” For many years I called it the “S” word, and would not allow the word to be spoken in my home. It is at this juncture that I am making an exception to my rule. There is only one word for what fear does to people….it makes them stupid.
Think back to the last horror movie you saw. You told the characters not to run into the shed with all the chainsaws where they would be trapped. You told them not to scream because you knew that would give away their location. And you told them to pick up the weapon that they ran right by so they could protect themselves.You told them but they didn’t listen. Why didn’t they listen? Well, you were speaking to a screen, but the result would have most likely been the same if you were there in person – and the reason is simple. They didn’t listen, because they were afraid. Yes, these are characters in a movie, but it does exactly mimic a real life response. Especially now.
When we are afraid, we go into a state we all know as fight or flight. That means we have two choices, some would say we have three. We can stop and stay and fight, or we can run away, and lastly, some call the third option freezing, like a deer in headlights. These are the programmed responses to fear. These responses were necessary when predators were chasing us, long ago. We needed a boost of adrenaline so we could run faster, or hit harder.
When the sympathetic nervous system takes over, the anxiety induced in fear boosts our ability to respond more quickly and accurately. We need the chemicals that come from the fear response. The chemicals, however, over time, become poison in our system.
The sympathetic nervous system is basically the fight or flight response. Many, many people today live almost all of their days guided by the sympathetic nervous system. As a culture, we worry and stress over many, needless issues. In fact, 95% of the thoughts we have about what could happen, never actually happen! People worry continually about finances, housing, loved ones, food, and careers. Usually, the worries that people have today are not issues that present an immediate threat to their life. But nonetheless, they are generating the fight or flight response and the chemicals that go with it.
Imagine a tiger chasing a herd of antelope. The antelope go into a fear response when they notice the predator. A predator is chasing them, and, unbeknownced to them, they are headed straight toward a cliff. If one antelope falls off the cliff you can bet the others will too. Why? Well the fear response helps to create a herd mentality. One antelope does what the others are doing because…. it will be safer. Right?
Wrong. The fear has made them stupid. They are following the herd and this makes them feel safe. But if the herd is doing the wrong thing, then it puts everyone in peril. In fight or flight response there is no thinking, only reacting. All of the blood rushes to the essential organs, leaving the brain to fend for itself. It becomes impossible to be proactive, to make a decision that would benefit you. And the assumption that because everyone else is doing it, it must be the right thing to do…..well, that’s simply not the truth.
My dad, and probably your dad too, used to ask me whether if all the other kids jumped off a cliff, I would too. It was the most probable response to, “everyone is doing it.” Although I have chosen to take a more explanatory approach to raising my own child, there actually is a certain amount of wisdom in that very annoying question. Especially when you are a teenager. In fact, I can’t even count the amount of times I did something stupid just because everyone else was doing it. Teenagers see being thrown out or ostracized as the kiss of death….the end of the world. Exclusion or expulsion from the group generates a fear response.
But how can we teach our teens to think for themselves? How can we prevent ourselves from stupid actions and make our own choices, regardless of fear and herd mentality? And as simple as this question might appear, I can assure you that it is not. As tempting as it might be to tell someone they should just stop being afraid and think about it, that is normally not the answer. Fear response, and therefore, herd mentality, come from a very deep place inside of us. The response is very automatic, and not something we can just choose to turn off at will. This response is an animal instinct.
Relieving ourselves of the fear response requires a concerted effort. It requires us to search our soul and our subconscious mind to find out what it is that we are really afraid of. Some of us are afraid of being alone, and others, of death. The bottom line is that fears are not all the same. As individuals we hold unique beliefs according to the environment in which they were raised. If you were abandoned as a child, you might be afraid of not connecting with the crowd, or not being included. Another person who lost a loved one early in life might be afraid of dying. It is at the bottom of the base fears, inside the false beliefs, that we can finally admit our fears and let go of them.
Now here is a secret known to only a few. As human beings we share common fear responses. We can narrow fears down to a list of less than ten, and those who would use them for control, know that list very well. Yes, there are those amongst us who would know of these fears, and manipulate us with them. These deep seated fears are useful to someone who knows what they are doing and wants to control you. If you don’t believe me, then ask yourself the last time you did something that made you uncomfortable for your boss, or perhaps your government, simply because you were afraid of what would happen if you didn’t.
Fear is thick in our midst now more than ever, and it is now, more than ever, that we have the greatest possibility for, and the most incentive to change. When a person’s nervous system finally calms down after fear has gone, they might compare the time they spent in fear to a dreamlike state. It feels a bit like automatic pilot. Thinking back to it makes you wonder if you might have been asleep.
We ARE asleep. As a people, we are stupidly and completely asleep in a state of fear. And in our slumber, manipulation is occurring through and because of our fear. And because “everyone else is doing it,” we have stopped questioning. It is so important for us, right now, to WAKE UP…and end this nightmare. And only WE have the power to do it. The power is ours to use as we choose. We can continue toward the cliff, with the rest of the antelope, or we can get to the bottom of our fears. Admitting our fears and letting them go, completely eliminates the switch with which another is able to manipulate us. Letting our fears go takes off those blinders that cause us to want to panic and join the hive mind of the herd.
Fear-based conformity will not save us now, when we are heading toward the cliff. What will save us now is the bravery that allows us to take the path less chosen. It is the ability to make sense of a nonsensical situation. What will save us is the power to look those who would manipulate us in the eyes and say, “I am not afraid, I am not stupid, and I will not be controlled.”
For more information regarding the ability to get to the bottom of your individual fears please contact me for your free consultation today.
Tammie Mohn, Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, MBA
