Guilt – A Dangerous Illusion

Have you ever been taken advantage of? Were  you ever coerced into do something you were uncomfortable with? Have you ever said something you do not mean, simply to prevent another from feeling bad? If you said yes to any of the questions above, then you most likely have a guilt trigger. But you are not alone.

Guilt Triggers

Many of us have guilt triggers. What exactly is a guilt trigger? Well, a guilt trigger is a false belief in your subconscious programming.  This false belief causes you to react in a particular way to a particular situation. An example will work best to demonstrate how a guilt trigger works.

But first, in dealing with the subconscious, it is important to know about our programming. Most of our programming occurred between the ages of 0 and approximately 8  years of age. During these years the subconscious mind is like a sponge, soaking up information that will keep a us safe. The subconscious mind is programmed with strong feelings, repetition and the occurrence of traumatic events.

When a particular event generates strong feelings, that event is programmed, or impressed in the subconscious mind. That impression is carried with the person throughout their life, until such point there is a conscious choice to change it. Most people spend their whole lives with subconscious false beliefs, and never change them. People believe that is just the way life is supposed to be. But that could not be further from the truth.

The Parental Role

Part of the job of a parent is to guide children to make sound choices in their lives. Many times when children are growing they experiment with different types of activities that seem fun or interesting to them. However, some of those activities are not fun or pleasing to the parents. 

For example, say that a parent gets particularly angry with a two year old for making a horrible mess with the dirt from a potted plant. The parent scolds their child harshly, telling him or her that they are “bad.” The parent then gives a time-out or a spanking, depending upon the form of punishment he or she prescribes to. In the child’s mind, this event is significant. The reason this event is significant is because the punishment demonstrates that in displaying that particular behavior, he or she will be banned from the “tribe,” ostracized, not loved or hurt.

The Tribal Instinct

A dependent child’s instincts will cause them to do almost anything to avoid being banned from “the tribe.” This is due to the fact that being ousted most assuredly leads to death, as it does with any creature that is communally dependent. So this particular event is impressed in the subconscious as “dangerous.” This event becomes a program that the child will carry into adulthood. This particular false belief is, “I am bad.”

This belief about being bad is triggered by particular events in the life of the adult who carries it. The actual triggering event may vary from person to person, depending on the circumstances.  Triggering events can even expand into new variations, causing more and more discomfort to a person as they age. For example, the same person who ws scolded for making a mess with the potted plant, having grown up, is now horrified at the thought of dirt being tracked into the house. They have a “shoes off at the door policy.” As this person ages the triggers could expand from just dirt on the carpet, to bacteria or obsessive/compulsive cleaning. 

Guilty Illusions

So what makes guilt so dangerous? It would seem that in the example above, the person may spend a lot of time cleaning and watching out for bacteria or dirt, but how is that dangerous? The dangerous parts of guilt triggers are mostly the stress and anxiety caused by the subconscious false belief, which will inevitably do harm to the body. The constant watching for dirt or germs can eventually lead to a type of paranoia. Also, there are many people in the world who are skilled at pulling guilt triggers, or hooking into them, making the most dangerous aspect of guilt the possibility of being purposefully manipulated.

Guilt Hooks

The false belief that causes a person to feel guilt, in this case the belief that her she is “bad,” acts as a sort of hook that a manipulator can latch on to. It is evident in those mothers who can get their children to do just about anything. They are quite aware of the guilt triggers they have instilled in their offspring, consciously or subconsciously. Master manipulators can pick out a person with false beliefs and guilt triggers just by their posture, or response to a particular stimuli.

The more triggers a person has, the easier they are to manipulate. Manipulation can cause much pain and grief. A manipulated person does not act in their own interest, but in the interest of the manipulator. The longer a person acts in the best interest of another over themselves, the more likely they are to get sick or hurt.  A person could also begin to feel helpless or hopeless in their own life, which seems out of their control. Constant guilt may cause them to spend all of their energy in service to others, while neglecting their own needs, wants and happiness.

I Thought Everyone Had That

Guilt triggers are so common in our society that we hardly notice them. They have almost risen to a level of acceptance. Unfortunately, this trend is causing many unhealthy and unhappy people. The first step in healing this is awareness itself. When a person decides to be of service, or help someone, it is important to analyze the motivation. Perhaps ask the questions, “Is this something I want to do?”, “How does doing this make me feel?” or,  “What is my motivation for doing this?” 

The second step in healing is losing your guilt triggers. If you think you have guilt triggers, ask yourself whether you want to carry around a hook that makes you vulnerable to manipulators for the rest of your life. If the answer is no, then getting rid of that false belief becomes a new and important goal. Achievement of this goal will better your life in a multitude of ways!

Hypnotherapy Can Help

Hypnotherapy is the process of providing the tools that assist a person in turning these false beliefs around. It alleviates the triggers, thereby getting rid of the hooks. Once that false belief of “bad” has been cleared, all of the associated triggers are also cleared, leaving a stronger, healthier, happier, more decisive, and more energetic individual. 

If you are interested in learning more about alleviating your own false beliefs, please contact me for your free 30 minute consultation.